I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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