How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
