Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
