If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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