your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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