My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
