i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
