3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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