I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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