Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
