she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
