yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So many bounce houses so little time
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
