That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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