she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
