we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
