pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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