Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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