He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
