my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
