So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Did we literally take a cab across the street
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Enjoy the penises
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize