he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
