so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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