I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
