I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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