listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
