dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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