I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
