Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
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I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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