he shaved USA in his pubs
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
