you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
