Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Even my vagina gasped.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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