That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Randomize
