maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
