I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
