it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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