I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She even gives head with a lisp.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
