nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize