Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
it hurts more in the daytime
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
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Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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