At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
