ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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