you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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