Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize