i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Oh god it's open bar.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
