we're blogging at a bar
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
