...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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