I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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