For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
