I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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