I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
