I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
