Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
