Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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