i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
