your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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