so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
