I'm really into asian looking animals
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I am midnight drunk by noon
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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