Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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