Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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