You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
