It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
birth control should be required to get into college
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
